Differentiating Between Good and Bad Secrets with Kids- Do You Have a Secret?
Hively Provider Book Club
Wednesday, 20 July 2022
Hively offers regular workshops, classes, and training to help child care providers develop their skills as small business owners, child development experts, and compassionate caregivers.
This includes Hively’s Childcare Provider Book Club! Every Wednesday from 1:00-1:30pm, Hively has a guest reader who reads a children’s book to a group of child care providers and we discuss the book together. Providers discuss their thoughts, how they can implement the book into their centers, and what they can teach their children in connection with each book.
Hosted by our Training and Inclusion Coordinator, Hively’s Childcare Provider Book Club introduces a range of diverse topics including inclusion, emotions, representation, disability, meditation/mindfulness and more!
At the end of the month, Hively provides childcare providers with a copy of their favorite children’s book to help providers build their children’s library while also providing them with the tools to implement the book into their child care program.
This week Amanda, one of Hively’s Family Support Specialists, read Do You Have a Secret by Jennifer Moore-Mallinos. “The purpose of [this book] is to stimulate dialogue and instill knowledge. Children, parents, and professionals will learn to distinguish between ‘good secrets’ and those secrets that are necessary to disclose.
A child’s ability to distinguish such information will have a positive impact on his/her ability to react appropriately. When a child feels empowered through knowledge, he/she will ultimately be more in control of their own safety.”
Key takeaways from our Provider Book Club discussion included the following:
- The book is engaging-it asks questions that can be used to gather kids’ thoughts on secrets (e.g., can you think of a good secret? Do you think it is okay to keep a bad secret if someone asked you to?). In addition to asking questions, the book distinguishes between examples of good vs. bad secrets.
- Good secrets in the book include the following: birthday presents, surprise birthday party, special handshake, hide and seek.
- Bad secrets in the book include the following: others hurting you, stealing, unwanted touching.
- The book further counsels children that it’s okay to tell a grown up, someone a child trusts, a bad secret if someone has asked the child to keep this secret.
- The last pages of the book provide a summary for kids, explaining that good secrets can be fun if they make yourself and others happy. It is also teaches children that if they have a bad secret, they can reach out to an adult. And while this can be scary, it is the right thing to do and will make the child feel better.
- There is a “Note to Parents” at the end of the book emphasizing the “various difficulties many children face in today’s society” (e.g., abuse-physical, sexual, emotional, and neglectful).
- This book is also a great way to discuss with kids how to “trust their gut” in a situation where someone has asked them to keep a bad secret and the child keeping the secret doesn’t feel good about it.
The activity sheet and video provided below can be used along with the book to teach children to distinguish between good vs. bad secrets.
[Embed Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyYnzl5OnH8]
If you are a childcare provider in the Tri-Valley (Pleasanton, Dublin, Livermore, Sunol) and would like to join Hively’s Provider Book Club, please contact hello@behively.org for further information.
About the Author:
Hello, my name is Karely! I am the Training and Inclusion Coordinator at Hively. One of my roles at Hively includes facilitating and sharing resources for Hively’s Provider Book Club.
In addition to the Provider Book Club, I help and support childcare providers in the Tri-Valley (Pleasanton, Dublin, Livermore, Sunol) with inclusion services for their child care programs.
If you are a childcare provider in the Tri-Valley and are interested in inclusion services for your childcare program and/or you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to hello@behively.org Thank you!
